Sunday, September 30

Fallen from Grace

Once again Ms Brain Cheese has yet another great post - so along those lines I pose to my readers (all 3 of you - lol) "What has life taught you?" in under 50 words please!!

Linda's question came at an interesting time in my day. I got up around 9am, had breakfast, started reading a new book, Tran-sister Radio by Chris Bohjalian (author of Midwives, which I enjoyed while at Norwich & living in VT) then showered & got ready to go to the movies. I'd made plans to meet up with Jaiden at 12.45 outside the Angel tube station, but she'd cancelled last minute, so I figured heck I'll just go alone since I wanted to go to Angel to get some Teva sandals from Blacks anyways. I got on the bust at 11.35, but this bus was only going to Muswell Hill Broadway (about 3 minutes up the road) but I got on it & figured I'd just grab the next 43 bus & be on my way . . . after waiting 20 minutes I finally got on a 43 bus but it was terminating at Highbury Corners (my stop is past that) but again figured get on & at least get going in the direction I want to go. A few stops later the bus makes a strange turn & I realise part of the problem is that the bus route road is closed for resurfacing (UGH!!) but no worries we're moving & hopefully it should be too much longer (famous last words). When the bus finally gets to Archway (diversion was very slow) I think okay lets get this show on the road, I'll pop off here & get on the tube . . . smart idea until I realise the northern line is closed for track replacement all weekend . . . back to the bus stop I go. This time I get a bus which is terminating at Angel, which is fine by me as that's where I want to go - I think "yeah I'll get there" after a VERY slow ride we finally arrive at the tube station at 13.47, the movie started at 13.30 :( For those of you not good with math that journey took me just over 2 hours, typically it takes 40 minutes. Since I've come all this way I figure I'll get my sandals and then start my trip back home. I won't recite the reverse trip, but it's just as bloody bad as the trip into town! Luckily for me, I had nothing else I had to do today so I just tried to remain calm & enjoy the bus ride (which is hard with people bitching & moaning, pushing & shoving all around you).

So back to the point of this story . . . what life has taught me is to take it one day at a time & not to sweat the small stuff, but then again the first half might just be me mum's 12 step program rubbing off on me, since I grew up with it all around me. We often joke that I've been to more meetings than the average person in AA and that I know most of the lingo fluently, just ask Jed in C'town, he hated it when he'd say, "oh I didn't have time or I'm too tired to go to a meeting" and I'd say with a smirk on my face, "you always had time & energy to go get drunk" . . . and amasingly he didn't have much of a reply to that aside from, "dammit, you're right Ra" and off to a meeting we'd go.

It's hard at times when I hear people in the program whining about this & that in their lives & how hard things are . . . it makes me almost pissed off at times because the reality is what they're going through is just as tough as what I'm going through. If you stop to think about it, getting drunk is never a solution to any of my problems, to be honest it just hinders the problem. I mean if I think oh I've had a bad day at work, I'm gonna go get pissed at the pub tonight to make myself feel better, the reality is the hangover I'm gonna have the following day did not solve the problem & now I've got a new problem of a hangover. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't like it when people use alcoholism (or any other disorder) as an excuse in their life. I mean I could blame bad things in my life on my mom, "if she hadn't drank then . . . " but the reality is this is the hand I've been dealt & I've gotta make the best of it, one day at a time!!

Sorry I'm rambling now, I guess what I'm trying to say is "Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." Who are you to say yours is worse?!??!!

P.S. 117 days left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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At 03 October, 2007 22:14, Blogger jen said...

117 days until what?


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